Thursday, September 20, 2012

It's a Knockout

My friend C and I were chatting the other day about the old days at the law firm, back when we worked together almost 10 years ago.  She is moving away in November and I will miss our chats. 

She's one of those friends who posts work rants on Facebook and I understand every word and meaning, as we do the same job.  I get it.  Sometimes the inner b*tch comes out in you.   Mine is named Lisa;  C's is ChristinE, with an "E" ending.  (no offense to the Lovely Lisa's and Classy Christine's out there). 

Here's the scoop - my name is close to "Lisa", but it's not.  After being called "Lisa" for years and not getting anywhere when politely correcting people of what my actual name is, I had had enough and one day my inner b*tch came out to play.

At the old firm, office supplies sales people from corporate businesses used to stop by the office periodically (and unannounced) to advise us of their GREAT sales and why WOULDN'T we switch providers to THEM?   Every time, the answer was the same:  because we already have a provider who gives us great service and great deals, and they are a local company.  We want to support them.

One salesperson in particular, Doris, used to stop by quite regularly and give the same spiel every time about her great service and how we should want to have her as a sales rep.  She looked a bit like Delta Burke on Designing Women.   Haughtiness at its finest.  You know the kind.....she takes one look at you and pegs you for one of those stupid young people who doesn't know a thing, and it's written all over her (heavily made-up) face.

If she only knew . . .

So one day, Doris stopped by, unannounced as usual.  After being called "Lisa" for the umpteenth time that day, and I actually had a person tell me "yah, whatever" after I politely corrected them, I was ready for Doris. 

Doris pranced into the office and gave me her prissy fake smile and haughty look.

 "Hi Dear, do you need any supplies today?" 

"No, we just put in an order yesterday."

"Oh!!  Who does your ordering?"

Pause.  Lightbulb moment.

  ".......LISA does..........."

"Oh, is she here?"

"No, she only works part-time".

"Do you know when she'll be in next?"

"Nope.  She only comes in when Ron needs her to come in."

"Oh, okay.......well, I'll just leave this catalog for her then."  She places the catalog on the reception counter and pats it like the good little puppy it is, and leaves.

I smirked and pitched the catalog in the recycling bin.  C came back from lunch and laughed hysterically when I told her we have a new worker in the office, "Lisa". 


About a week later, I answered the phone and it was Doris.  

"Yes, can I speak to the person who does your ordering?  I can't recall her name."

"Oh...yes, that's LISA, but she's not in today."  

"That's too bad, I missed her again!  When is she in next?"

"Not sure.  It hasn't been too busy lately, so it might be awhile."

"Okay, well I'll follow up in a few weeks then?"

"Sure!   Buh-bye!"


I left to my now-job shortly thereafter, but C told me she kept up with Lisa Chirade for a while until she never heard from Doris again.  Every once in awhile, I'll phone C and tell the receptionist that "It's Doris calling!!  She'll know who it is!" 


  1. Very cute story...but I can appreciate the frustration too. I haven't worked in an front office position in forever but I do remember the office supply salespeople. So odd how tenacious they could be.

    Ah...Designing Women-loved. Dixie Carter...still can't believe she's gone. That show was great!

    1. I watched that show all the time when I was kid!

      The other salespeople were at least tolerable, but Doris was ruthless!

  2. Hello:
    Now, what IS your name?

    We can well understand your annoyance with both Doris and all who are like her. At the end of the day it is down to carelessness and a lack of thought.

    1. Exactly. Oh I have to keep the name under wraps -- my name is a little too unique for the blogosphere! :)

  3. Sales always struck me as a tough job, requiring a thick skin. Not for me...

    1. Sales are not for me either. Although I did like working at a department store in my late teens, but thankfully I didn't have to do many hard sales!

  4. Ha! Sales people can be like leeches when they get their claws into you. My name is apparently the most difficult word in the world to pronounce. When someone gets it right (rarely) I almost fall to my knees in thanksgiving!

    1. I know the feeling, Sulky, trust me. I have had my name mispronounced and misspelled my entire life. It was even worse before I got married because I had a Polish last name which everyone pronounced in a French way....oy. And people spelled wrong most of the time too. I have a simple English last name now!

  5. I have spent all my life spelling my full name out to people because it can be spelt several ways. Plus people manage to say it incorrectly too. Now I just tell everyone I answer to anything!
    Yes it's all terribly annoying.
    Funny story LR.

    1. Even when you spell the name for people, they still get it wrong! lol oh well. I don't mind doing spelling it for people but getting a "yah whatever" answer when I tell people what my real name is instead of Lisa...ooh that sets me off!!

  6. Too funny. You outsmarted the witch! Ha ha. LOVE IT! xoxo

  7. LOLOLOL! Too funny for words! What I don't get is how these salespeople are supposed to make a sale when they treat potential customers like dirt? I get a call from a polite and nice young man at DHL every single month asking if I would switch services. Each month, I told him I would if he could solve my shipping problem and match the price of the other provider I'm using. The next month, he calls again...and completely forgot what we talked about the previous month. This has been going on for a year...!

    1. I know, it's lame. They probably have some diary system where they phone the same people every month but never keep track of notes!

  8. Agree with CCC - how can people expect to make a sale if they don't remember the basics?

  9. oh, I relate to the whole name business.

    For years I believed that I had been born.

    One day I needed a birth certificate. My parents couldn't find the one they'd had when I was allegedly born. It was necessary to apply to Authorities. There was no trace of me. Time was running out. Our Assemblyman's intervention was sought.

    Turns out that hospital personnel had spelled all 3 names, first, last and middle, wrong. However, my parents' names were spelled correctly, and they got the date right. That was enough for the doctor who was certifying that I was old enough and healthy enough for working papers. Getting the spelling of me corrected is a whole other saga.

    1. LOL!! Thankfully my birth certificate does have the correct spelling of my name, but Hubs had to have his cert corrected because my father-in-law spelled his name wrong on his birth certificate! And he has a common name! Hubs was so mad.....hehehe Never noticed it until 25 years after the fact and wanted to get a new passport. LOL

  10. Hahahahaha, priceless!
    I'll be laughing all day.