My friend C and I were chatting the other day about the old days at the law firm, back when we worked together almost 10 years ago. She is moving away in November and I will miss our chats.
She's one of those friends who posts work rants on Facebook and I understand every word and meaning, as we do the same job. I get it. Sometimes the inner b*tch comes out in you. Mine is named Lisa; C's is ChristinE, with an "E" ending. (no offense to the Lovely Lisa's and Classy Christine's out there).
Here's the scoop - my name is close to "Lisa", but it's not. After being called "Lisa" for years and not getting anywhere when politely correcting people of what my actual name is, I had had enough and one day my inner b*tch came out to play.
At the old firm, office supplies sales people from corporate businesses used to stop by the office periodically (and unannounced) to advise us of their GREAT sales and why WOULDN'T we switch providers to THEM? Every time, the answer was the same: because we already have a provider who gives us great service and great deals, and they are a local company. We want to support them.
One salesperson in particular, Doris, used to stop by quite regularly and give the same spiel every time about her great service and how we should want to have her as a sales rep. She looked a bit like Delta Burke on Designing Women. Haughtiness at its finest. You know the kind.....she takes one look at you and pegs you for one of those stupid young people who doesn't know a thing, and it's written all over her (heavily made-up) face.
If she only knew . . .
So one day, Doris stopped by, unannounced as usual. After being called "Lisa" for the umpteenth time that day, and I actually had a person tell me "yah, whatever" after I politely corrected them, I was ready for Doris.
Doris pranced into the office and gave me her prissy fake smile and haughty look.
"Hi Dear, do you need any supplies today?"
"No, we just put in an order yesterday."
"Oh!! Who does your ordering?"
Pause. Lightbulb moment.
"Oh, is she here?"
"No, she only works part-time".
"Do you know when she'll be in next?"
"Nope. She only comes in when Ron needs her to come in."
"Oh, okay.......well, I'll just leave this catalog for her then." She places the catalog on the reception counter and pats it like the good little puppy it is, and leaves.
I smirked and pitched the catalog in the recycling bin. C came back from lunch and laughed hysterically when I told her we have a new worker in the office, "Lisa".
About a week later, I answered the phone and it was Doris.
"Yes, can I speak to the person who does your ordering? I can't recall her name."
"Oh...yes, that's LISA, but she's not in today."
"That's too bad, I missed her again! When is she in next?"
"Not sure. It hasn't been too busy lately, so it might be awhile."
"Okay, well I'll follow up in a few weeks then?"
I left to my now-job shortly thereafter, but C told me she kept up with Lisa Chirade for a while until she never heard from Doris again. Every once in awhile, I'll phone C and tell the receptionist that "It's Doris calling!! She'll know who it is!"